Various sorts of humiliation are available to the middle-aged man. You can
dance in public. You can try to buy fashionable trousers in a department
store, only to be told with a pitiless glance that “they aren't made in your
size, sir”. Your dentures can pop out in the canteen when you're sitting
opposite that attractive girl from marketing. You can be overtaken by an old
granny walking home with her shopping while you attempt to cycle uphill.
And, in the unlikely event that a woman at a party whispers “come upstairs
and ravish me”, you can find yourself echoing Groucho Marx: “Madam, it can
be one or the other, but not both.”
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